Fire Birds - This is the gem that inspired this blog. Recently, my brother was cleaning out his DVD collection. . .little did I know as to why this flick was in the give away pile.This is a hack Top Gun for helicopters. It features young Nicolas Cage as a cock sure, aspiring Apache rotor head. As with all movies with young Nicolas Cage, he doesn't act - he just repeats lines with his sad, pathetic eyes that girls seem to go crazy for. Tommy Lee Jones does alright. The script writer has talent for unusually bad dialogue, the characters are static and so was acting, and the plot was senselessly predictable.
The disc should be used as target practice for Apache attack helicopters. This flick earns four thumbs down.
The Cider House Rules - The next one earns a place on the worst list (not because of bad script, acting, or plot) because it was written by Beelzebub himself. It depicts an orphaned boy mentored, by an aged doctor in gynecology and obstetrics, to perform abortions. The boy grows
up and decides to leave the orphanage due to the objections of his conscience. He falls into company with a commercial apple orchard, the beautiful girlfriend of a WWII soldier and the migrating harvesting crew. He ends up losing his innocence to the girlfriend, he compromises his conscience and performs an illegal abortion on an underage migrant harvester who was impregnated by an incestuous relationship forced on her by her father. The main character ends up returning to the orphanage to assume the role of his now deceased mentor, essentially becoming the monster he originally ran away from. A four and a half thumbs down for this dark movie.
Broken Arrow - This is another military suspense movie gone really, really,. . . really bad! A group of disillusioned, money hungry mercenaries arrange for an experimental aircraft to drop its nuclear (nucular, if you're W.) payload in the desert. They plan to retrieve it and sell to the highest bidder, mwah ha ha ha. The script is so bad that not even Johny T (John Trivolta) could make it work. The most remarkable thing about the movie is JT's porcelain - he must have had cosmetic dentistry and whitening done just before the movie, his sticklets positively glow. . . or maybe it was the radiation. . . Four thumbs down, and the thumbs are all on the same hand.
The Bicentennial Man - This is another Screwtape special. Coached in a cutesie movie where an android searches for his own humanity by exploring humor, curiosity, and friendship is a message: to be human is to be self indulgent and have sex. At the climax of the movie (no pun intended) Andrew the android discovers that the technology now exists for him to enjoy sex! Now this robust robot can enjoy a senseless marriage, congress votes this V-chip vixen a human and we all live happily ever. I for one, have learned a valuable lesson about my own humanity. . . A full five metal thumbs down and I use this DVD as a coaster for my boric acid beaker.
The Neverending Story III - This neverending story should have ended after the first one, each sequel gets neverendingly worse. The characters become increasingly uninteresting, the plot convoluted, the acting awful, the script abysmal, and the special effects look like the left overs from a Jim Henson garage sale. Does anyone else think Falcor looks like an albino Clifford? A luck dragon? He looks like a white woolly wiener dog. . . that was run over. . . Now I like the first movie well enough, a classic from the '80s, but the producers should have thought out the decision to do 
two more when the script was sitting side by side with the script for Land Before Time XXIV - Paddlefoot's first swim. Three and a half thumbs down and the Nothing should have won.
5 comments:
Tell me, how do you really feel?
Bicentennial Man is my favorite movie. Thanks Nate
Kudos to Kyrie for disagreeing! You are, without my say so, allowed to disagree. So, why did you like it so much?
I love that movie because of the way that humanity is defined. He has individuality, creativity, emotion, the ability to love and have independent thought. In my view he was a living being The sex part was such a little part and did not define him as human. And in the end he was mortal he did die. I thought it was a great way of looking at life. When he was on trial they didn't say "oh sorry I didn't know you had to ability to get hard up that obviously makes you human", If they had I would not have liked the movie.
Good points and good rebuttle
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