To silence any song...

A Minor Bird
by Robert Frost

I have wished a bird would fly away,
And not sing by my house all day;

Have clapped my hands at him from the door
When it seemed as if I could bear no more.

The fault must partly have been in me.
The bird was not to blame for his key.

And of course there must be something wrong
In wanting to silence any song.

Nate Notes

As a confession, I generally wince at child performances. I am adoring when they are genuinely talented and well executed but I silently groan when they are lousy. What is more, I am perplexed when all the other adults and parents who clap, praise, and cheer at what could only be described, generously, as a mediocre performance. This was true even with my own children.

Then one day, as I was reading from my volume of Frost, I was deeply moved by this short verse. It caused me think deeply about my less then enthusiastic support for my children's best efforts. While I still don't heap on false praise to a poor performance, I do find something great and genuine to praise, even if it is just the courage to stand up and try. Though this is a short and little know poem of Frost, it has had a profound impact on me and my relationships.

And of course there must be something wrong in wanting to silence any song.

Society Closes a Closed Society

Recently I watched a 48 Hours episode on polygamy. It covered the subject in general with an emphasis on the recent events of the FLDS group and their Texas Yearning for Zion Ranch. On the whole, I thought it was fair. I was particularly pleased they showed some who live in this marriage system who were not part of closed societies.

http://www.cbsnews.com/sections/i_video/main500251.shtml?id=4133422n

At one point during the interview, Valerie indicates her fears of taking her child to the hospital for a broken bone because of the assumption of abuse due to her being a polygamist. This poignant statement highlights a central issue in the fight against institutional systemic abuse found in closed societies such as the FLDS.

Who closes a closed society? Society at large does!

Now at first blush, many may be offended at this statement. It may sound as if I am moving responsibility from the offenders/predators to the "outside world", further propagating their closed society.

Nothing could be further from my intent. I do want to make some points on how society can effectively open closed societies and eradicate criminal practices. I also want to point out pit falls to avoid.

Certainly any group which has practices outside of societal norms or morays adopt a private and secretive nature. This becomes even more embedded when the practices turn sinister, illegal, and immoral, especially under the banner of piety and religion. How can society protect individual and minority rights while discouraging and punishing criminal behavior? I'll tell you how to least effectively deal with it. . .use the cowboy diplomacy tactics of Texas. Have local law enforcement go into a community and take all the children at gun point based on a prank phone call. Ready, Fire!, Aim. . .

So what would be effective? Prosecute the crime not polygamy. Prosecute underage marriage, prosecute forced marriage, prosecute child abuse, prosecute rape and the other crimes that infringe on the rights of the individual and the defenseless. This will do three things.

1) It will move the discussion away from religious prejudice and bigotry, which the criminals involved with systemic abuse hide behind. The Texas debacle is a perfect example. Because Texas hauled away over 400 children just because they lived at the ranch, the FLDS now get parade all the parents who are monogamist, all who married after eighteen, and point out all the injustices. . . and they are! This sways public opinion and the politicians, now the 90% who weren't doing anything criminal may possibly vindicate the 10% who are villains. In addition, it will taint the Texas authorities and hamper their future efforts to prosecute the real abusers.

2) It will put the criminal offenders behind bars, and proactively discourage future abuse. If the Texas authorities investigated, gathered EVIDENCE, they could have two or three leaders and a half a dozen men behind bars. Currently they arrested zero criminal child abusers and over four hundred innocent children.

3) And finally, this policy will foster an atmosphere where victims will feel safe in reporting crime to authorities without fearing the break up of their families. How powerful would it be if a mother knew she could go to the authorities to protect her twelve year old daughter from and underage, forced marriage. Now, instead of just worrying about hell fire and being ostracized, she could be the reason all her children are taken away, all her sister-wives children are taken away, in fact her whole community gets their children taken away if she exercises the courage to reach out. What is more, nothing has been done that would deter the men and leaders who engaged in underage or forced marriages. Now they get to play the martyrs and the persecuted.

It is time for authorities to grow up and move away from their ethnocentric, egotistical, and ignorant models and methods. It is time to investigate, arrest, and prosecute the criminals, anywhere they may be found, for abuses against children and the innocent. These crimes are not any less heinous among monogamist or Christian cults. Stop engaging in bigotry and start engaging the real problem.

Update on Gid the Kid

Here is some updates on my youngest, Gid.

He had his check ups with his cadre of doctors. The doctor for his martian antennas said they are looking good and he wished all mothers took as good a care of them. Red is contemplating tying little flags to them for the fourth of July.



The second doctor said he is ready to start bottle feeding again. Gid still has the feeding tube but now he is systematically taught to swallow and bottle feed.

An exhaustive hearing test revealed better results than expected. The ear that was thought to be totally deaf actually hears better than the other ear. So. one ear is moderately deaf and the other is profoundly deaf. In addition, there is fluid behind the ear drums, so once that is relieved it may help even further.

He has a new nickname, The Professor. This is due to his highly intellectual appearance with his glasses. He is very handsome and absolutely loves his spectacles. They have really opened him up.

He has been much more interactive and fun of late. His personality is beginning to really shine through.

The author's intent is the road not taken

The Road Not Taken

by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

-I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Nate Notes:

In English and Literature classes much emphasis is made on understanding the author's intent, this is the holy grail of literary interpretation. What did the arrtisst rearllly mean? While I think it is valuable to understand the author's intent and it can give context -- I think it is second fiddle to what the reader thinks and how it affects them individually.

Since the publishing of the this poem it has been often quoted to inspire businessmen, artist, entrepreneurs, poet philosophers, teachers, and many more to blaze their trails to success only found on paths away from the well trodden goat trails of society. And yet a careful reading of the poem and an understanding of it's inception will reveal a very different message.

The poet wrote the piece as a satire of his friend Edward Thomas. Frost was amused by Thomas’ indecisiveness, by the way he would dither over decisions, unable to make up his mind. Shortly before writing the poem and with mild irritation he recorded in his diary of a pleasant walk in Nature delayed by the indecision of his companion. The satire was not so clear when he sent a copy of the poem to Thomas, though. In the end, Frost had to explain to his friend that he was the subject of the poem.

The satire is evident in the poem itself, beginning with the title. The title is The Road Not Taken not The road less travelled. This sets a tone of remorse in contrast to the trivial circumstances of the poem conception. What is more, there is no road less travelled. . .

Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.

The satire continues with his apocalyptic proclamation. . .

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence

In the end. . . none of this matters. If the simple conclusion and convoluted poetic narrative that leads to it, which Frost assumed would make the humor of his piece obvious, are handled with such gentle subtlety and grace that the final product rings more of truth than of jest and this inspires you - so be it. Go and take that road less travelled and perhaps, we may meet.

I am a UFC fan

I am a UFC fan. I think it is the fighting sport of the 21st century. There are three reasons I love it. . .

Better safeties. At first blush, UFC matches may appear more brutal than boxing. While the fighting is more exciting, the record shows greater safety for fighters in the Octagon rather than the Square. The UFC Fighter has five honorable ways out of the Octagon; submitting by tapping, referee stopping, Judges judging, TKO and KO. The boxer has two honorable ways out of the Square; score by Judges and on his back. A UFC match is fifteen minutes of two athletes striking, grappling, wrestling, and submitting. A boxing match is thirty six minutes of two athletes striking each other primarily in the head. A 2006 John Hopkins study concluded, “The lower knockout rates in MMA compared to boxing may help prevent brain injury in Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) events.” From July 2000 to November 2007 there have been 1,465 boxing related fatalities worldwide. During that same period of time the UFC has exploded as a worldwide sport, what was the number of fatalities? Zero.

Better athletes. Without question boxers are highly trained, highly disciplined athletes. In fact, several UFC champions started as professional boxers. But these same champions also had to train at a professional level in a take-down discipline, a ground discipline, while maintaining their striking discipline. UFC contenders will train in a variety of Martial Arts such as Boxing, Mui Tai Kick-boxing, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Judo, Greco-Roman Wrestling, and Wrestling. To compete in the UFC, the fighter must train harder mentally and physically to become a professional level athlete in several fighting styles. Put an ultimate fighter into the ring with a profession boxer he may or may not be trouble. Put the boxer in the Octagon with an ultimate fighter and there is little doubt of the outcome.

Better Fights. The power, passion, and precision of a UFC Fight Night should be experienced instead of pontificated in a blog. But since this is a blog – this can be attested by the millions who regularly see the contests in person and on Pay Per View (PPV). For the past three years UFC Fight Nights have been number 1 or 2 in box office sales in all the major hosting venues, often selling out. In 2006 UFC was crowned King of Pay Per View, grossing more money that year than any promotion in history. UFC PPV revenue beat boxing’s best PPV year by 20 million and drew 100,000 more buys than boxing’s biggest fight that year (Oscar de la Hoya vs. Ricardo Mayorga). Then in 2007 UFC again dominated with eight of the fifteen biggest PPV events of the year to boxing’s four and World Wrestling Entertainment’s three. 2008 is tracking for another record breaking year, demonstrating a consistent and growing fan base.

If you want to check it out for the first time, here are few suggestions. . .

1) Watch it with an experienced fan - Like watching your first football game and not knowing what is going on, it is not much fun. Watch it with an experienced fan who understand the subtleties at each stage of the fight. There are many times in a fight where it may not look like much is happening but the pros are actually maneuvering for position or trying to execute a submission hold, it is more enjoyable if you have someone excited to help you understand what is happening and explain the rules.

2) Watch it with a bunch of experienced fans - Where one is good. . .more is better. The social aspect is half the fun. Lots of fun fans, lots of energy, lots of fun.

3) Have food - Finger foods are best. Be sure to use paper products for easy clean up, the wives will appreciate that. Snacks are a must to choke on while jumping up screaming for your fighter.

See you in the octagon!

Update on Pookah

Pookah is doing well. She has seemed to adjust to her cast and it's incumbant immobility like a champion. However, she did seem fussy today due to the heat, 88 F with 19% humitidy.

She will be in it for a total of three months. After six weeks they will remove the first cast, make any necessary adjustments, then put on the second.

She sports some stylish markings on her cruising cast.

And despite the cast she still goes places, so prepare to eat her dust. . .

When acquaintances become friends

As a general rule, you don't tell people you meet you're a polygamist in the first sentence with your name and greeting. If a casual acquaintance looks like they are heading for a longer term relationship, that is usually when you let them know and make sure they are okay with it. Red attended community college and became friends with a fellow student and decided it was time to let her know.

Red: There is something I need to tell you.
Friend: Sure, ok
Red: I just don't want to surprise you or anything if you ever meet my family. . . I'm a polygamist. . .
Friend: after a long pause... Is that where you hate black people?
Red: Huh? Ohhh no, no, that's prejudice
Friend: Oh, okay

And they are still friends today. . .